Crutch or Crown?
August 5, 2014
Almost two years ago, I fractured my leg playing flag football. That was the most excruciating pain I’ve ever had to experience to date. To add insult to injury, it happened at the most inopportune time–a mere six days before my 27th birthday. I had plans to really live it up and enjoy myself, but suddenly out of nowhere, I found myself on bed rest, popping painkillers and hobbling from room to room in my house. Talk about a setback…I really don’t have to tell you that I didn’t take that situation very well. Then there were the crutches. I swore those crutches were going to be the death of me. I didn’t have much upper body strength to begin with, but there I was left with no other choice than to carry all of my 100-something pounds of weight everywhere primarily by the strength of my arms. The worst part was hobbling up and down the stairs of my building (I live on the top floor of a building with no elevator). You can imagine the workouts I got just from doing simple things like getting the mail or just some fresh air! So that was my life for what seemed like an eternity. On a daily basis, I watched the muscles in my legs gradually diminish from the lack of use. I often complained and felt sorry for myself because I am very into physical fitness. The inability to be active was pure agony…but then I began to notice something. While one part of my body was weakened, another part of me was getting stronger than ever. Soon, I began to appreciate the muscles in my arms, as well as the crutches that inspired my new-found strength in a place where I least expected.
In life, setbacks occur. They can attack us in our relationships, in our careers, in our churches, and even spiritually. What is important to understand is that God uses what we think are “setbacks” to make us pause and align ourselves with His will. This happens because we sometimes allow daily distractions to get us out of sync with God’s purpose for our lives. Suddenly, we stop waiting to hear His voice and we begin to rely on our own understanding when making decisions. Some of us even become arrogant and act like we don’t need God at all. God chooses to deal with His children in different ways, but the way He tends to deal with me is through trials. It is through difficulty that God seems to get my attention the most. To be completely transparent, that is when my prayer life becomes fervent. All God wants is for us to keep Him at the center, and when I fail to do that, He tends to put me in situations where I have no other choice but to depend on Him.
The good news is that the Lord cares for us and protects us, providing safety even when we are going through a tough time. Notice, I didn’t lose my leg. As painful and frustrating as it was, my leg remained mostly in tact. My period of brokenness was temporary, but it gave me an opportunity to develop in a place that I didn’t give much attention to before. When I began to see how my unfortunate circumstance was actually benefiting me, I started to view my crutches differently. I began to embrace them for their true purpose. And when the pain subsided and my healing was complete, I was eventually able to restore the muscles in my legs to point where I am now stronger than I’ve ever been:)
Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus, who being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. Therefore God has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus, every knee [shall] bow…and every tongue [shall] confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. (Philippians 2:5-11, NKJV)
When Jesus came down to earth to save us from our sins, He came down in the image of a servant. To the average man, he was an equal, not the Son of God. He was ridiculed, persecuted and eventually murdered; however, His perspective and unwavering faith in the face of difficulty allowed Him to complete the task at hand. The reward for His obedience was to be elevated above all things and to regain His rightful place with the Father. Right perspective is key to spiritual growth, deliverance and healing. When we look at things through the lens of faith, that is when God can work out the kinks in our lives. Faith in trials increases our strength to endure, and when it’s all said and done, we too will be restored and made stronger than ever before. On the other side of brokenness is power. There will come a day when God will elevate us above the things that try to cripple us now and we will eventually receive our crown in Heaven. First, we must go through a period of brokenness and healing before God can bless and use us for His glorious purpose.
It is imperative to learn to trust the process, no matter how discouraging it can be. Make a decision today. Will you choose to let your circumstances cripple you or will you use this opportunity to draw closer to God, who is the source of all your strength??
Passages of Encouragement:
Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. (James 1:2-4, NLT)
Hope in the Wilderness
August 2, 2014
The Jews literally grumbled the entire way to the Promised Land–a land that God Himself assured them was full of opportunity and fulfillment. Many doubted, some rebelled, and as a result, some even died. In the end, only two out of thousands of people that embarked on the journey actually made it into the Promised Land. All because the people, including their fearless leader, Moses, failed to depend on God when things got tough. Let’s not forget that this was the same God who thought enough of them to perform miracles which led to their freedom from bondage. This was the same God who made specific promises to them and came through on each and every one.Life before the journey had been pure hell for the Jews. They had been beaten, abused, underfed, and overworked for many generations. But God’s unfailing love, compassion and infinite power broke the shackles which bound His people, and for the moment, they were sincerely grateful…but somewhere along the journey, things got rough again. The more they traveled through the desert land, the more uncertainty began to settle in…it became harder and harder for them to see and trust God’s plan. Praise eventually turned into murmuring and the Lord’s anger was provoked. After all God had done, the people still had the audacity to doubt the Lord God Almighty. Suddenly, they couldn’t take Him at His word, but instead sent scouts to check out this so-called Promised Land…Who did they think they were to test the validity of God’s promise? Had God not delivered them out of bondage, provided for them, and protected them every step of the way? Was He suddenly a liar? Lack of faith stunted their spiritual growth and blocked their opportunity to experience the abundance God had promised them…They didn’t realize that God had to take them through the wilderness in order to make them ready to receive the abundance of the Promised Land.That happened thousands of years ago, but sadly, it still happens with us today. That story literally sums up what I am currently dealing with. Things are happening that are really challenging my faith. After all the Lord has done (and continues to do) to prove Himself worthy of my trust, I have the audacity to question what He is trying to do in my life. Now I find myself asking, “Who do I think I am?” I know that I am nothing without the Lord, and the more I reflect, the more I realize that it is time to really get my act together. Regardless of what is going on, God has been too good. He’s been too faithful and has seen me through even worse times than this for me to suddenly doubt Him. I don’t have to understand His ways. It is through my faith that I will begin to see God’s work in my life. As hard as this process may be, one day I know that I will realize how this was used to make me ready to receive the Lord’s blessings. But even as I travel down this path, I can still thank God for the provisions He makes for me even in my wilderness state. He has not forgotten about me and He still blesses me every step of the way. It’s my prayer that soon I will be able to tell this story and encourage someone based on the truth I will come to know. As I sit here today, the Holy Spirit is encouraging me that this too will work together for my good. I have to trust His process. He knows this is the best way to get my attention back towards Him. It’s in the wilderness that I will learn to keep Him at the center of everything and not shut Him out of the areas I want full control of. And when the time is right, I know that the Lord will fulfill every promise He has made to me.Scriptures of Encouragement:Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that He has promised. Hebrews 10:36Oh How great are God’s riches and wisdom and knowledge! How impossible it is for us to understand His decisions and His ways! Romans 11:33, New Living Translation (NLT)
I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord and be of good courage. And He shall strengthen your heart. Wait, I say, on the Lord! Psalm 27:13-14, NLT
Not Guilty (Pt 1)
December 23, 2013
It was the most humiliating day of my life. There I was in the middle of a store being asked to empty my pockets in front of everyone, including my sisters who I knew looked up to me. I was escorted out of the store and led handcuffed through the mall to a security holding cell. The cell in which I was placed was barren and the only thing in my view was my own reflection in the glass door. My eyes caught the gaze of a person I didn’t recognize staring back at me through that glass. Who is this person? How in the heck did I get so low? My thoughts ran rampant until an officer came in and blew my mind with one simple comment. “You work for NBC. There was no reason for you to do this.”At first, I had no clue what he was talking about or how he knew where I worked. I thought that perhaps they ran a search on me and found the information, but then I noticed something that explained everything. I had totally forgotten about the jacket I was wearing, which bore the company’s famous peacock logo on the sleeve. As I was doing my deed in the mall, I had forgotten that I was also acting as a representative of a well-respected media giant at the same time. Somehow, I was tarnishing the reputation of what it meant to be a part of that organization. You know how stereotypes go. People with good jobs don’t steal. Shoplifters are usually poor and uneducated. Well so much for that stereotype…I had a completely different message for this blog post before I started writing it, but God has literally interrupted that train of thought to share something with me that I need to share with anyone who reads this. Many times as Christians, we go through life doing whatever pleases us, forgetting the responsibility that we carry. The “logo on our sleeve,” if you will. Unbelievers look at our behavior and question our faith because sometimes our behavior is “worse” than theirs. I have heard that too many times to ignore. We tarnish the reputation of the One we represent whenever we act on our own will and desires. It’s time to take this walk seriously and be the ambassadors God has called us to be, according to the Word of God. As one of my good friends always says, “Preach the Gospel and when necessary, open your mouth.” Let’s allow our lives to be the example of Christ’s love. We have to be mindful of our actions. The world is watching.
Not Guilty (Pt. 2)
December 23, 2013
“For I am the least of the apostles, who am not worthy to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God I am what I am…” I Corinthians15:9-10 (NKJV)Fast forward from the prison cell to the months after my arrest…It was time for my court hearing that would determine my fate and ultimately shape the direction of my future. The four grueling weeks leading to that day will always be etched in my mind. Probably God’s way of keeping me humble. Everyday, I got up at 5AM and prayed for God’s forgiveness as soon as I opened my eyes. I asked for a second chance as I got dressed for work. I prayed again as I boarded the bus to work, and as I walked to the building. I fasted. And I prayed some more. Every. Day. I tried to smile to hide the guilt, fear and anxiety that was eating me alive, but I failed miserably. Although I prayed to an all-powerful God, I doubted that He would forgive me this time. I knowingly made the wrong choices. I spat in His face every time I chose to disobey Him. I didn’t even bother to pray about it until after I got into trouble. I figured I was probably wasting my time praying the way that I did. But I literally had nowhere else to go. I had to trust Him. Eventually, the day finally came.
In court, I had to sit for almost two hours and watched more than a dozen other offenders receive harsh punishments for their crimes. The experience was excruciating. By the time the judge called my name, I was bracing myself for the worst. My dreams of a great career in the government were over. My reputation and ability to lead others was finished. Finally, the judge issued his ruling…What?!? Not guilty?? I’m free?? Am I hearing correctly? This time, I wanted to shout. Cry. Run. Anything that would help me express the elation I was feeling…In spite of everything, God forgave me. Wiped my slate clean. Gave me a fresh start with a new sense of gratitude that I never had before. I am embarrassed to admit that he also confirmed His existence. There were times that I questioned if He was even real. Yet, He did all of this and more for me because He loves me. In fact, He loves us. More than 2,000 years ago, God knew that we couldn’t overcome the guilt of our sins on our own, so He sent His only Son, who NEVER did anything wrong, as a sacrifice to wipe each of our slates clean for good. Because of that sacrifice, I was able to come to my Father and be forgiven. The thing that blows my mind the most is that there were many people in that courtroom who did the same thing I had done. But I was literally the only one to walk away with a clean slate. To God be the glory…God examined my heart and saw my desire to turn away from the sin that got me in that situation in the first place. If it had not been for God’s grace at that moment, I wouldn’t be sitting here writing this blog trying to encourage readers to accept the freedom that God has promised each of us through Jesus Christ. I would literally have nothing to say right now. Today, I implore you not to wait until trouble comes to go looking for God. He wants you to come today. No matter where you are in life, no matter what you did 5 minutes ago…Another chance at life is available. Please accept Christ into your life and let his Spirit help you navigate through this difficult journey. Just like me, your story doesn’t have to end with what you did wrong. It’s time to accept the invitation and walk in the abundant life that God has richly promised all of those who love Him.
Exhumation
August 26, 2013
“Then he who had received the one talent came and said…I was afraid, and went and hid your talent in the ground.” Matthew 25:24-25 NKJV
ex’ hu·ma’tion n. 1. To remove from a grave; disinter.
- To bring to light, especially after a period of obscurity.
I tried to come up with a clever analogy that would help me describe the way I have been feeling lately, but I just couldn’t come up with anything. Just as I was about to give up, I was reminded of the parable Jesus told His disciples about a wealthy man who distributed his wealth among three of his servants and left them to do whatever they pleased with what was given. Each servant was given a different number of “talents.” When the man returned to see how the servants had used their talents, only two out of the three had done anything at all. The third servant, who was only given one talent, claimed to have been too “afraid and went and hid [the] talent in the ground.” When the man heard this, he rebuked his servant and cast him away.
Although this parable has been preached from so many different angles before, it spoke to me in a way so unique that I pray it won’t earn me a personal rebuke from my pastor, lol. But to put it plainly, this pretty much sums up how I have been feeling for the last few years: I am sick of being afraid. I am tired of letting my fear or feelings of inadequacy keep me from experiencing the fullness of life…from enabling me to express myself…from trying new things…from being 100% ME.
I don’t know about you, but self-doubt has always equaled self-sabotage in my life. Whenever the opportunity arises for me to step out of my comfort zone, I immediately shrink back from the opportunity faster than a turtle seeks shelter within its hardened shell. This may sound dramatic, but it’s so true. And it never fails that every time I “punk out,” I end up kicking myself later because deep down inside I know I can do it. Whatever it is…not because of who I am in my own strength, but because of who I am in Christ. I don’t know if any of you can relate to this, but I don’t want to wallow in self-doubt anymore. I am studying a book right now that is literally changing my life (So Long, Insecurity by Beth Moore), and it taught me something very important about myself: [When I] lack security, I also lack faith. I don’t just doubt myself, I also doubt God about myself.
I guess you’re wondering by now what any of this has to do with the parable I mentioned earlier. Well, it’s simple: God has given me access to all of His “wealth” through Christ. His wealth encompasses a multitude of things: my gifts, talents and abilities; His love, grace and forgiveness; His favor which allows me to overcome adversity; His peace, power…He even gives me a little faith. The list goes on…but what do I usually do with all of this wealth? In so many ways, I am just like that fearful servant who buries these gifts in the dirt so that no one can see them or make me use them. Thoughts like, “I am not as talented as that person” or “What if people don’t like what I have to say
?” or “What if I fail?” race through my mind and stop me dead in my tracks.
Overtime, I’ve learned that my own spiritual and personal growth are not the only casualties in this war within my mind. It also prevents God from using me to bless other people. We would be surprised by how God can use our faith to bless someone else. You don’t know how your demonstration of faith can encourage a younger generation to trust God and to believe in themselves. And it’s not about being the greatest at something or always succeeding. Failure can inspire faith too. People need to see that our “greatness” comes from our relationship with Christ. Paul said he could “do ALL things through Christ who strengthens [me]” (Philippians 4:13). He could have stopped at he can do all things, but he knew that his abilities did not come from himself and he fearlessly spent the latter part of his life showing others how to tap into that same power. God says in His word that He has “not given us a spirit of fear; but of power, love and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV). This means fear can only come from one other source. Satan uses our fears to keep us from experiencing God’s infinite power. He knows how dangerous we can be if we fully rely on God for our strength and self-worth. Now that we know at least one of our enemy’s primary tactics, let’s stop giving him that foothold in our lives. I am learning each day that ev
erything God has given me are beautiful tools to be used for His purpose and there is no reason to walk in fear of using them. As you and I continue on this spiritual journey together, let’s remember to use those gifts boldly…God wants us to share those gifts with the world so that they may come to experience Him for themselves…If you’re like me, then it’s time to get out our spiritual shovels and retrieve those gifts from their hiding places.
Memory Verse: Psalm 27:1-2
“The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?”
Praying Your Way To Peace…
August 6, 2013
“Those who choose murmuring as their lifestyle will spend their lifetime in the wilderness.” ~ Excerpt from Lord, Change My Attitude by James MacDonald
Today while praying, my endless list of petitions was interrupted with the question, “why don’t you shift the focus to what God has already done?” Hence, the inspiration for this blog. I don’t mind sharing this with you because I refuse to believe Satan’s lie that I am alone in this state of habitual complaining. Hopefully my transparency will help you strengthen your prayer life and help you see life from a more positive angle as I am striving to. So in the midst of my prayer time, I said this instead…
“Lord, everything may not be perfect in my life, but I thank you that I have never missed a meal, never gone to bed without heat or electricity, never received a phone call from any bill collector, never been jobless, never been sick and unable to get treated…I may not come from a huge family, but I have been blessed with a handful of family members and a host of friends who I love and know I can depend on. I may be praying for more, but I actually have everything I need in this very moment and I am grateful…”
After doing that, I can honestly say that I felt a whole lot better about my situation, because my praise reminds me of who God is to me. You may add your own list of blessings to this prayer, but the result should be similar. Because the Lord inhabits (dwells in/is drawn to) the praises of His people (Psalm 22:3), that is my best way to get His attention. When I choose to dwell on what’s not right, then that only makes me feel worse and my faith diminishes. On the contrary, prayer quiets my thoughts and feelings and gets me in a posture to hear and receive His guidance.
I want to encourage you that whenever you become tempted to wallow in dissatisfaction, force yourself to pray your way into peace.
When It’s Time for a Divorce
July 29, 2013
My pastor recently preached a sermon that resonated so deeply with me that it literally sent chills through my body amid the sweltering 90+degree weather. He was giving us the basics on how to separate ourselves from the world’s influences in order to develop a stronger relationship with Christ and the more he spoke, the more I kept hearing something tugging at me saying, “it’s time to divorce!”
My mind immediately shifted to a story I heard on a radio station in which a man wrote in to the show seeking advice from the hosts about an issue he was having with his wife. Long story short, the man had an affair with his boss, which resulted in a pregnancy. When the boss lost her job, she asked to live with the man—and his wife—in their home. Surprisingly enough, the man was upset because his wife didn’t want his mistress living with them, but he wasn’t sure what to do because he wanted to keep them both living in the same home—he was expecting a baby after all…Of course, this letter made for great discourse on the radio program, which routinely capitalizes off of the ratchedness of some of its listeners. For almost 30 minutes, calls flooded in from all over the country with people commenting about how crazy the man was for cheating on his wife and then having the audacity to move his mistress in with them. Even I got caught up in it, thinking about how this man must have bumped his head. “It couldn’t have been me,” I thought.
It wasn’t until that sermon was preached that I realized it could be me. In fact in many cases, it still is. Not as the victim, but as the actual perpetrator of such betrayal. You see, I learned that once we accept Christ, we enter into a union with Him, meaning the foundation for an intimate relationship with Him is firmly established. But instead of letting that life we once lived and all the things we used to do go, we instead try to drag all of that contradictory stuff into our sacred relationship with Christ. We then become frustrated when it seems like nothing is going right for us or our relationship with God isn’t as fulfilling as we expect it to be. Instead of looking inward and seeing that the problem lies within us and the choices we made, we tend to slip deeper into the sin that has caused the separation from God in the first place.
As I am writing this, I am reminding myself that if I want a genuine, powerful, mind-blowing relationship with Christ, there are some things I am going to have to divorce in my life. There are some things that I have tried to drag into our relationship that isn’t going to fly with God. God is holy and it doesn’t matter how much I say I love Him—it doesn’t matter how many times I go to church or pray – if I insist on dragging things into our union that contradict His holiness, I will never experience the things He has promised me in His word. If this blog resonated with you in any way, it is my prayer that you too will be real with yourself about the choices you are making. Ask yourself if these things are strengthening or hindering your relationship with God according to His word (not your own desires). If not, it’s time for a divorce.
Priceless…
June 13, 2012
She stood no taller than 5 feet six inches and weighed less than 125 pounds. She came from humble beginnings and spent most of her youth working hard to provide for her only child by herself. On a modest paycheck, she did her best to provide a roof over their heads and clothing on their backs. As her child grew older, she quickly became known as the popular mom on the block because she provided a safe and fun environment for the neighborhood kids to escape the vicious streets of West Philadelphia. As she got older, she gave all of what little she had just to put smiles on her grandchildren’s faces. And although she wasn’t exactly overflowing in financial abundance, she was filled to the brim with something far greater than anything else. Love.
That was Ms. Ross. When my best friend first introduced me to her grandma, I felt like we already met because of all the stories I heard about her copious generosity, love and unforgettable punch lines. Ms. Ross’ reputation definitely preceded her, and as the years began to pass by, I witnessed first-hand a woman whose love penetrated deeply into everything she did. This lady, who was well into her seventies, never considered it a burden to load up her car with her bright red suitcases and drive more than 150 miles by herself just to be a part of every special moment her family encountered. From graduations to birthdays to Easter dinner, we all could count on seeing those red suitcases sitting at the front door. Whether it was a special occasion or not, Ms. Ross always knew how to show her love and guess what – it didn’t involve a dime.
Last month, we all said goodbye to that sweet lady. At the homegoing service, I found myself reflecting on the legacy that Ms. Ross left behind and the impact she made on the lives of everyone she encountered – – without money. It made me think of how we all can get caught up in our obsession over money and “things.” For me, this obsession started early. As a child, I remember resenting my aunts, uncles and even grandparents because they were unable (or un
willing) to give me things like my parents did. And because so much emphasis was placed on who gave what for each occasion in my life, I thought that was the only acceptable way to be loved. Of course, there were some relatives who did give me things but spent no time with me. Those relationships were built solely on the money they spent. Once I became an adult, I found out later that their presence alone would have meant much more to me than their presents.
If I could go back to my childhood, I would have shared with my family that they didn’t need to buy me something in order to be a good auntie, grandma, and so on. Now I understand that just seeing their suitcase at the front door would have been all I needed. As I said goodbye to Ms. Ross that day, I was reminded of God’s command to love others. I too, want to be known for how much I loved, not by how much money I gave. I want Christ’s love to be evident in the way I live my life–not just by the words I write. When we leave this earth, we can’t take anything with us and eventually, our possessions will fade away. But the way we treat others will live on forever. And it doesn’t have to cost a thing.
The Game of Football
May 29, 2012
This past Fall, my dare-devil best friend encouraged (dragged) me onto an all women’s flag football team for the first time in my life. Basketball had been my sport of choice since the 10th grade, so I wasn’t sure of what I was getting myself into and that scared me. Not to mention the fact that I am really shy and never like to leave my comfort zone. However, she persuaded me to give it a shot and if I totally sucked, I could quit. Little did I know it would become one of the most fulfilling experiences of my life.
One of the first things we had to do as new football players was understand our roles on the field. Because of my size and speed (my catching ability came later) the coaches assigned me to the Wide Receiver spot. They helped get me into football shape and showed me how to run my routes and catch the ball properly. When I got comfortable with that, then I was given the plays. I think learning the plays was the hardest part of football for me because I am the kind of person that needs to understand why I am doing something. Football was a completely new sport for me so nothing made sense to me at all and it was really hard for me to follow along. On the other hand, basketball allows a lot of room to improvise. You can deviate from the play if you see an opportunity to undermine the defense and for the most part, you won’t get cussed out for it. But I learned quickly in football that one slight deviation from the given play can result in a loss of downs, an interception or even worse, an injury. So eventually, I decided that the best way to approach this game was to stay in my lane and complete my assignment as directed. If the play called for me to stand my ground and block my defender out of the play instead of trying to outrun her for a deep touchdown pass, I had to trust that my coaches knew best. The end result was that things usually turned out for everyone’s benefit.Life is a lot like that. Many times, I find myself deviating from God’s plan and trying to undermine the opposition on my own. Usually, that opens the door for Satan to push me off course, block one of the blessings God has for me, and lots of times, it causes me a lot of pain. When we as Christians choose to deviate from God’s plan, that’s our way of telling God that we know better than He does. We got this. But we’re sadly mistaken. Since God allows us to make our own decisions, we often do things without His consent but then we ask for His blessing in the meantime. That’s just not going to work – Ever. I keep reminding myself that God has been doing this way longer than I have. Just like a coach on the football field, Jesus played the “game” before. He knows all the right routes and schemes that can fool the opposition in any situation. All I have to do is study the plays (in His Word) and execute. When I do, I can’t go wrong and you guessed it — TOUCHDOWN.
Writing Under the Influence 